Who the fuck names their main character Bella Swan. SERIOUSLY. WTF? Beautiful swan? The book and the movies are full of – no scratch that – made out of such cliches that it actually hurts. I highly doubt that a emo 13 year old could ever come up with something so unimaginative.

Sparkling vampires? Vampires who can, but choose to not fuck? Here, this is a quote from the douchess: “one of the great things about fantasy is that research rarely applies”. Seriously. Did I just travel to bizarro land? Oh, oh here’s another one “When I write the story, it’s not like I’m thinking about what I’m doing” I rest my case.

Also, why the hell is she advising tween girls “to threaten to kill themselves if their boyfriends want to leave them”. The movie (which I watched -not in the theaters-, since I’m not going to read the crappy books) is so full of sexism that I was in shock for a few full hours. The lead female is spineless and has a creepily dependent personality, the lead male is an asshole, and is emotionally abusive.

Now that I’ve made myself clear. Please get the hell out of my life. If I ever see that emo poster again, I’m going to barf on it. It’s the most shittiest editing job I’ve seen on a hollywood poster.

On a final note, Robert Pattinson is not hot, he is scrawny and just plain regular. Not showering does not make you a hot, bad guy, neither does sparkling like a fucking diamond. If you seriously think he’s so fine that he blows your mind, please gtfo and go suck a lemon.

And that is the end of my rant. Now something nice to listen to to do away with all the crappiness I’ve been talking about.

Fact: I’m a documentary buff. I love all of them, Indies, Biographicals, Historicals, Social and Cultural ones, Mocumentaries.

So the other day we were browsing netflix and we came across Indie Sex. A 4 part documentary about sex in the cinema. This is what netflix says about it.

For as long as there’ve been movies, there’s been sex in movies — a connection that filmmakers Lisa Ades and Lesli Klainberg explore in depth in this four-part series from the Independent Film Channel. In segments titled “Censored,” “Taboos,” “Teens” and “Extremes,” a long list of film industry veterans — including John Waters, Ally Sheedy, Dita von Teese, Tatum O’Neal and more — talk candidly about sex and cinema.

So we watched part 1: Censored. It was about censorship in movies and how it came about. It started with the peepshows and I was in awe with how raunchy the stag films were back then, oh gosh, they were pretty hardcore. I always thought people were more conservative back then. But I’m pretty sure some of the things they’ve done in those movies are pretty illegal now. Then it moved on to the 60′s and 70′s with the porn theater craze. How the MPPDA (which later became MPAA) came about. It talks about the harsh Hays Code, where kissing more than 3 seconds on screen was forbidden. It talks about how a NC-17 rating kills a movie.

The movie is unrated and it has a lot of nudity and sex (obviously) in it. It’s a DAMN GOOD movie. So if you can, watch it.

Tonight we watch part 2: Taboos. I think I’ve gotta brace myself for this one.