Worst Thing to Happen to Pop Culture

Seriously how much of an idiot do you have to be to like something as useless and stupid as twilight. Yes, Anne Rice used vampires to reach the angsty youth as well but, come on, Anne Rice knew her shit. She did her research and her books were actually readable. (I like Anne Rice by the way, and I thank her for her books who accompanied me through my tween years and I actually apologize that I’m comparing her to Stephenie). Unlike Stephenie Meyer’s books Anne’s books don’t sound like they were written by sad 12 year olds with out imaginations.

Who the fuck names their main character Bella Swan. SERIOUSLY. WTF? Beautiful swan? The book and the movies are full of – no scratch that – made out of such cliches that it actually hurts. I highly doubt that a emo 13 year old could ever come up with something so unimaginative.

Sparkling vampires? Vampires who can, but choose to not fuck? Here, this is a quote from the douchess: “one of the great things about fantasy is that research rarely applies”. Seriously. Did I just travel to bizarro land? Oh, oh here’s another one “When I write the story, it’s not like I’m thinking about what I’m doing” I rest my case.

Also, why the hell is she advising tween girls “to threaten to kill themselves if their boyfriends want to leave them”. The movie (which I watched -not in the theaters-, since I’m not going to read the crappy books) is so full of sexism that I was in shock for a few full hours. The lead female is spineless and has a creepily dependent personality, the lead male is an asshole, and is emotionally abusive.

Now that I’ve made myself clear. Please get the hell out of my life. If I ever see that emo poster again, I’m going to barf on it. It’s the most shittiest editing job I’ve seen on a hollywood poster.

On a final note, Robert Pattinson is not hot, he is scrawny and just plain regular. Not showering does not make you a hot, bad guy, neither does sparkling like a fucking diamond. If you seriously think he’s so fine that he blows your mind, please gtfo and go suck a lemon.

And that is the end of my rant. Now something nice to listen to to do away with all the crappiness I’ve been talking about.